Holy moly — if I had a dime for every time I heard: "Austin is the worst place to date," I'd retire tomorrow.
But here's the thing: I heard the exact same complaint when I lived in NYC. And LA. And Miami. And pretty much every major city I've called home during my nomadic years.
It's a pattern I've observed over and over.
Everyone convinced of this "truth" describes themselves the same way: I'm doing great and I'm totally open to meeting someone amazing, but dating here sucks and no one here is dateable so I guess that just is what it is. Well, if lots of single folk are all thinking the same thing... maybe it's time to look elsewhere for answers.
The Numbers Don't Lie (And They're Actually Pretty Encouraging)
Because I'm a total nerd, I decided to crunch some numbers on Austin's dating landscape. Fair warning: I'm a relationship coach, not a mathematician, so if my math is off, please be gentle.
The Austin metro area has about 2.2 million people with a median age of 35. Roughly 46% fall into prime dating years (20s through 40s) — that's about one million people. About half are single, which gives us 500,000 available adults. Split that roughly in half by gender, and you're looking at around 250,000 potential matches at any given time. Sure, not everyone may be open to dating or a relationship, so to be conservative, let's say half are open to it. Cool, that still leaves 125,000 suitors.
Even if you went on a date every single week for an entire year, you'd only meet 0.04% of that pool.
The abundance is real. The connections are there. The question isn't whether Austin (or any other major city) has enough people — it's whether we're showing up in the right way to find them.
The Real Reframe
Instead of cursing the heavens about how much dating sucks, what if we shifted the questions entirely?
Question #1: "How do I go about connecting with humans in a way that is enjoyable to me?"
If your immediate response is "there is no way," then it isn't about where you live — it's about shifting your relationship to connection itself. Maybe start by asking: How open am I to real connection (not just the idea of it)? Am I showing up authentically, or am I performing what I think dating should look like?
Question #2: "Where do I find humans I like to connect with?"
If that isn't immediately clear, dig deeper: How well do I actually know what I enjoy? What do I genuinely value in life and relationships?
These questions hit different because they put the power back in your hands.
The Austin Advantage (That Has Nothing To Do With Dating Apps)
After living in countless cities, I can say this with confidence: Austin is hands-down the easiest place I've ever been for connecting with people. Not dating — connecting.
People here are genuinely curious. They're ambitious without being cutthroat. They're down to grab coffee with a stranger who shares their passion for breakfast tacos or live music or weird art installations. They'll invite you to their friend's birthday party after knowing you for twenty minutes.
This city has mastered the art of creating spaces where people with shared interests naturally find each other. Food truck gatherings. Hiking groups. Music venues. Art walks. Volunteer opportunities. The infrastructure for connection is already here.
The Plot Twist: It Was Never About Dating
My partner and I met in Austin, but I don't think it had much to do with Austin's "dating scene." It had everything to do with where I was in my life, my relationship with myself, and the fact that I was consistently showing up to things I genuinely enjoyed — not because I might meet someone, but because the event lit me up.
When you're doing things you love, you meet people who love those things too. When you're clear on your values, you recognize them in others. When you're genuinely enjoying your life, you become magnetic to others who are doing the same.
I know these sound like platitudes, and they are if they are hypothetical, vague, and there is no strategy behind them. However, there are tangible ways to uncover what you love to do, what you value, and who you truly are and these my friend are the keys to fulfilling relationships.
The Real Game-Changer
So, what if, instead of focusing on dating, you focused on connecting with people whose energy or interests or values genuinely excite you? What if you spent your time doing things that make you come alive, regardless of who else might be there?
This isn't about "putting yourself out there" or "getting back on the horse." This is about building a life that is engaging and, as a bonus, the right people naturally want to be part of it.
Your Move
Next time you catch yourself thinking "this place sucks for dating," try removing dating from the equation entirely. Ask instead: How can I enjoy connecting with people here?
If any of this resonates with you — or if it completely triggered you (also valuable information!) — I'd love to hear from you.
Because here's what I know for sure: there are many people out there who would be an incredible match for you, and they want to find love just as much as you do.
The question is: Are you setting yourself up to receive them?
Ready to shift your relationship with dating and connection? Let's talk.
